This important phase is about learning and recognizing the symptoms of personal energy depletion with techniques to diffuse energy taking situations. This Wisdom demonstrates the most effective and essential tools needed to handle energy interactions. It is the most vital key concept in learning about energy exchanges.
"Energy Takers" steal your energy from you a variety of ways. We should remember that they may operate on a sub-unconscious level and not know what they are doing, and then there are those who do know what they are doing. The focus here is on being aware of your Life Dramas and your own personal power in dealing with them.
The "Energy Takers" get the energy they need from others to satisfy what they are lacking. By identifying what type of emotional energy the person needs and recognizing the signs one can therefore implement a tactic to shift the energy. In this energy circle, one has to realize the attraction of falling into the categories listed above as well recognizing others' energy styles. Once this is realized then you can disengage and reevaluate your position and how YOU act and react. By understanding how this dynamic works you bring forth the conflict (s) to the conscious mind. Always be aware what is going on and what it is that hooks you into the drama and why you may hook others into yours.
Symptoms of Energy Depletion
The effects of "Energy Takers" can be felt physically and mentally. Energy depletions will make you feel drained and tired after a conversation or encounter with a person. You may suddenly get a headache or your stomach will hurt. You may even be exhibiting some of the same emotions of that person as a "negativity bug". Also working in reverse, you may feel terrific or "high" after talking to someone. If this happens, it's not all inclusive of being an "Energy Taker" yourself but it is something to be aware of. The way out of it is to identify what is going on within you and identify your place in interactions. Pay attention to your body and its warning signs during communication. The energy competition will create notable sensations once you recognize them.
"Energy Takers" are also associated as being "Psychic Vampires" which range from those who are highly aware and take energy intentionally along with those who do so unconsciously and are not aware of their actions. "Psychic Vampires" is another topic in itself that involves more esoteric concepts regarding psychic / energy warfare and techniques to prevent and protect one self. "Psychic Vampires" typically are very deliberate of the energy they take. Due to this intentionally, the symptoms that are felt can be strong and more pronounced due to a dramatic shift of the energy body. For the purpose of the Inner Wisdoms we are dealing more with the unconscious aspect in relationships as it pertains to childhood perceptions. However, the symptoms of energy depletion are very similar.
You may experience:
- Body tingling or aching
- Vision changes
- Mood changes
- Literally drained of energy
- Muscle tension in body
- Mental confusion, brain fog
- Stomach pains
- Feeling weak, shaking
- Sleep: disturbances, dreams, waking, restlessness
- Emotional polarity; feel really good, then really bad
There are a few trigger words to be aware of in interactions with others. The following are red flags, especially when paired with any emotional symptoms above. Be aware of their uses as awareness is the key.
- You should..
- You will..
- If you love me..
- I'm obsessed with you...
- I'm addicted to you...
- Can't get enough of you...
- You are like a drug...
- I feel so drained...
- I feel so guilty...
- I'm so tired...
Diffusing The Situation
It is important to redirect energy when encountering those that drain you. There are a variety of ways to diffuse energy taking situations and are highly effective when used in combination. Remember do not let their pity, anger, or other emotions "win" even if they know your "hot buttons". Identify what your buttons are and determine the best course of reaction. I guarantee the result will not only surprise you but the other person as well!
A few ways to diffuse energy taking situations are:
- Use "I" statements: "You know I had something similar happen to me." or "I love you but I feel that you keep criticizing me is there anything else that is bothering you?" I have found that when you ask, "What else bothers you?" it immediately diffuses the situation. "I hear you (then give an example)." I'm sorry for……but it will get better."
- Use "I feel" statements: "I feel the same way (then give an example)". "I feel stuck and confused as well (then give an example)", "I know what you mean (then give an example)." By doing this you are giving them the attention they need but not giving into it. Using any "I" statements helps balance the energy.
- Use creative ways to politely excuse yourself: get something to drink, go to the restroom, see someone else you need to talk to, "Will you excuse me please, I need to…" If on the telephone you can say "I'm sorry, I need to go (then give a reason).
- Inject laughter and humor into conversations. This is a valuable tool in diffusing energy takers. Laughter raises vibrations naturally and harmoniously for everyone.
- Tactfully change subjects: "I've been meaning to ask…"I wanted to tell you…" "Did you know…?" If appropriate you can feign being hot or cold and remove/add clothing to break up the interaction and energy connection.
- Change negative statements into positive ones, redirect by making positive comments, or giving compliments.
- Lower or soften your voice when speaking with them. Voice tone always helps energy interactions.
- Keep eye contact to a minimum as eyes can hook you into the drama. (With practice eye contact helps diffuse energy. If you are not accustomed to diffusion techniques, take care to not get hooked.)
- Body posture: stand tall with shoulders back and to the persons side which means "understanding" and "cooperation", rather than in front of which more confrontational.
- Physical contact is effective such as a gentle light touch on the arm or shoulder.
- Keep your personal space intact and shift when necessary.
- Refrain from offering to do things for them. Don't automatically offer to do something just because they brought it up, even if you know they are asking in a roundabout way. It may be best to not say anything or politely say "No". Don't get sucked in. It is amusing when a covert question occurs and you don't offer, they become surprised and not know what to do. Keep the flow going by asking questions, changing the subjects, or use any of the variety methods here.
When you know you will be encountering and "Energy Taker" you can:
- Be more assertive, have confidence, be aware of your posture and stance
- Meditate for grounding, centering
- Reaffirm personal boundaries
- Mentally review trigger words and hot buttons
- Rehearse diffusion techniques
- Remind yourself the person is operating under his/her Life Dramas
- Have compassion and understanding his/her action is how they learned to gain energy
- Build energy shield or bubble around you and/or white light as a shield
In any situation you encounter it is always good to take a deep breath, remain calm and observant. The tips and exercises are to help you gain mastery over your own personal energy. They are tools to prevent others from taking energy from you. It becomes an eloquent dance of give and take that helps keep a healthy balance. You will walk away feeling much better and much more confident.
Exercise - "Soft Bubble of Light"
An effective method to deal with the "Energy Takers" of the 5 Life Drama types is what I would like to call a "Soft Bubble of Light." An example: While talking with aunty, she goes into the "Complainer" attitude that everything is going wrong. Sympathy for the situation is nice, but tactfully changing subjects or focus in a positive manner is a way to neutralize the "Complainer" attitude. Being tactful and graceful on the phone or in person works as well. I've learned a neat little trick when running into people who need that emotional energy. In the mind's eye of compassion, simply surround them in a bubble of soft white light. Accompany this with tactful statements such as "I understand it must be tough. What does Marge think of it?" "Speaking of Ed, how is he doing these days?" "I just ran across the same the thing, it must be catching." Humor and sincerity has a way of magically diffusing any situation and shift the energy considerably.
This technique of a soft bubble light also applies very well to the workplace. For instance, before an interview, while in a meeting, or when the person arrives in the office with any range of emotional attitudes, imagine in your mind the bubble of light around them. If someone is non-cooperative, whining, controlling or angry you will definitely see a change in behavior. Whatever the emotion is in the workplace there is always a root cause. We may not always know what that is, but we can make conscious changes in our own thoughts which translates into actions. Not only are you changing your energetic thought forms, you are also changing the energy around you, which is infectious so to speak.
The "Soft Bubble of Light" seems to satisfy the energy the aura needs and does not come from "you" for it flows freely from the Universe with loving intent to naturally equalize the situation. It works very well! The results are truly amazing. The important thing is that you project loving thoughts toward others therefore sending them positive energy they need, but do not fall into it. Stay centered and be willing to walk away when you get hooked (for example, constantly trying to convince someone). It is important to recognize how the other person wants to control your energy. When you finally realize this, daily interactions will amaze you. You can't help but smile at the wonderful energy the Universe provides when it's sent with the intent of love, understanding and awareness, not anger or fear.
Analyzing "Energy Takers" in Your Life:
Now that we have learned some background information of "Takers" and some awareness and diffusion techniques. It's time got get to work and add to your personal development notebook. Remember to be honest with yourself!
Now time to ask the serious questions:
- Write a list of people that effect you after contact. Who zaps your life of energy?
- What are my "hot buttons" that engage me?
- What are my reactions to each person?
- Why do I react the way I do?
- What do I feel when I react?
- What from my past has taught me these reactions?
- What do you think the person is lacking in his/her life to make me uncomfortable? Feel free to be creative with this answer.
- How can I counteract the persons requests, demands, emotions and manipulations in a more positive manner?
- How can I change my reaction into something positive?
- What will my future reactions be?
Each person has a life history with volumes of experiences. We may not know what motivates a person but, again, it's not about others entirely. We have an opportunity to use our awareness of energy interactions if we choose to. Speaking tactfully and with confidence helps in keeping the energy balanced. I can only change myself - not them.
One part of self empowerment is learning and recognizing energy exchanges, the truly transformative part, and one of the hardest tasks, is changing our reactionary behaviors. Behavioral scientists have recognized it is not what happens to you but how you react to it that determines your mental, emotional, and physical well being. By embarking on this stage of awareness, we increase our personal power by mastering oneself. Since emotions play strong roles in our daily interactions we can train ourselves with positive constructive methods to change our responses to external circumstances.
- A reactive behavior within the body determines energy levels.
- Verbal discomfort depends on your reaction and diffusions methods
- Ask for help. You don't have to solve the situation alone.