I Am Loved
by StarStuffsAugust 2000
"God, I don't want to go back. Earth is painful and confined. I don't want to go back. Can I please stay here with you - please?"
God gently and firmly holds my hand as we walk in His garden. "My child, my precious child, you have learned many things on earth. There is one more lesson you must learn, therefore, you must return, not only for you but for others as well. You know this my child."
"Yes Father, I know," as big tears well up in my eyes. When I slowly look to the edge of the garden tears start streaming down my face. "But Father, I don't want to go."
We stroll to a white cast iron bench and seat ourselves. I look a few steps away and see the rose arbor that I know I must walk through. The Father looks into my eyes,"My child it will seem strange and scary at first when you arrive. You will forget about me for a while until you grow within. I will always be with you and never leave your side."
My words breaking up with a crack in my voice, my eyes slightly red, "But Father, I don't want to forget. I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you."
"You are needed on earth my child. You must fulfill your purpose. You will touch people's lives and give hope to those who have none. You will ignite the divine spark in those that are ready to see. You will spread my peace to those who have none. You will care for Earth and the people just as I maintain this garden. Your tender heart will show others how to have compassion and you will be a light for those who are lost."
He squeezes my hand while his other hand tenderly wipes my falling tears away from my cheek. He holds his hand open in front of me exposing the tears. "You will show others how to love as I love you. You are precious to me little one - yes - earth is painful." He slowly tilts his hand and the tears fall to the ground. As I look down, my new tears drop to the ground and I see the moisture forming into a heart. "Remember your heart my child. I will always be with you."
Not saying a word, I look at Him and sob heavily, knowing that I must return. He then lifts my hand, spreads my fingers and then kisses right in the middle of my palm. His kiss runs from hand, up my arm, straight to my heart. He says,"Whenever you feel lonely or scared and long for home, just press your hand to your heart and know that I love you and I am right there with you."
Looking over and up with teary eyes, three doves fly in front of the rose arbor. My tears slowly subside as I ponder what the Father had just told me. Looking down I see the heart still visible in the soft dirt. I tightly close my hand making a fist in hopes of gathering what courage I had to stand and walk those final steps.
Still looking down, we stand together and approach the rose arbor hand in hand. Looking at me he says, "It's almost time. She is ready."
Trying to keep the tears from flooding back, I take a deep breath and squeeze his hand then slowly look to him. "I love you Father."
"I love you too my child."
He releases my hand and I reluctantly make steps down the path through the arbor out of the comfort of the beautiful garden into an uncertain black coldness.
My ears hear a voice screaming,"I don't want to go to earth! It's painful! I don't want to go! It hurts!"
In the darkness, my tiny hand rests upon my miniature beating heart knowing that I am loved.